Beard Liberation Front
25th July
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has issued emergency advice for the hirsute as Britain faces potentially its hottest day ever on Thursday:
Tips for protecting the Beard in hot weather
If the beard is above six inches in length moderate summer pruning may be in order.
Where possible do not go out between 10am and 6pm and stay in a cool or air conditioned space, such as a library or pub
If the beard starts to overheat immersing it in the freezer cabinet of the nearest supermarket will provide an instant remedy
Hand held fans may be used to ventilate the beard
If the beard starts to dry out in the heat and follicles become brittle regular immersion in a glass of craft beer or lager will moisturise and nourish the beard
Do not use beard oils. In heat these may make the beard a sticky mess
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