Jacob Rees Mogg Guidelines on how to describe beard wearers
The new Leader of the Commons Jacob Rees Mogg has issued a style guide for those who are unfortunate enough to work for him. Details include when to use Esq. and when, if using a typewriter as Mr Rees Mogg’s Butler does, double spacing is appropriate.
The Beard Liberation Front offers an addendum for how to address or describe the hirsute
Do Not write ‘how come you haven’t had a shave or ‘we all know you’re a Marxist’
Do Not make any reference to string vests or allotments unless you are referring to the Leader of the Opposition
Do use ‘I see you are trying to emulate the great W G Grace who Jacob Rees Mogg wrote about in his definitive volume The Victorians
Do use, ‘I see you have an imperial handlebar moustache and quite right too’
Do say ‘I don’t think the Conservative Party is ready for beards yet. Nothing personal’
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