Each Friday during April with no edition of the Archers, a classic issue of the Ambridge Socialist is being re-published. This one is from Easter 2012 and contains references to a number of village characters who havent been heard of for a good while now
The Ambridge Socialist
The real Borsetshire Echo: 60 years of class struggle in Ambridge
8th April 2012 CONTACT KEITH FLETT 07803 167266
Perspectives on Ambridge at Easter
By Peter Budge
Richard Rich is also the Archer’s nemesis. He has been sent by Sharon to wreak a terrible revenge for the way Pat and Tony treated her when she was pregnant. Do not be fooled by amiable Eammon either – behind all that reasonable lies something sinister. Peggy did not seem so enthusiastic as Lilian and Jennifer at the surprise addition to the family. A wise old head there.
Once again the BBC is keeping things from us. Could the producers of The Archers belong to the same Masonic Lodge as the Chief Constable of Borsetshire? It has passed unremarked that the Borsetshire “Total Policing” Constabulary has erected an observation platform on the village green in Ambridge. We are told it is to keep an eye on anti-social behaviour and will be removed after the closing ceremony of the Paralympics. However I suspect it will stay, sponsored by BL, to keep a permanent watch on protesters.
Did you notice how Annabel almost had an orgasm following Brian’s performance at the BL board meeting. I suspect it will not be much longer than 9 months before Jennifer has another little one to look after.
Nancy Banks Smith: A month in Ambridge
The BBC announced on Sunday that “to reflect increasing urbanisation” The Archers will be moving to the city. “With, perhaps, a petting zoo.” A refreshing idea. The Archers has been on the hoof for 60 odd years and, speaking personally, everyone needs a little refreshment from time to time. I can see them now, huddled together in The Slug and Lettuce, a hostelry whose name reminded them of home but turned out to be in Canary Wharf. Will, with that mad look in his eye, clutching his double-barrelled shotgun; Jolene attracting coarse appreciation from bankers celebrating a bonus; Eddie trying to sell a ferret to a Japanese tourist. (The petting zoo proved impractical as all Ambridge animals are liable to bite, kick, sting, gore or, if peckish, eat children.)
The news doesn’t seem to have reached The Archers yet. Possibly because the vicar has banned gossiping during Lent. Or, probably, because Sunday was 1 April.
In Wichita, if you put your ear to the ground, you can hear the grass growing. Ambridge is like that. A bit on the quiet side. On the other hand, it has a lively sex life and a fine crop of slightly-tricky-to-explain children. The latest is Rich, the unsuspected son of John Archer, who was killed by his own tractor. Meeting his grandparents for the first time, Rich proved a tactful lad. He admired Helen’s baby without asking after the father. He even admired Tom’s pigs. And his stepfather Eamonn added another regional accent to the rich bouillabaisse of accents in Ambridge. That old favourite “Oo-ah” is as rarely heard these days as the hoot of an endangered owl.
Watch out for Christian (“He’s a financial analyst”) on Easter Monday. He is arriving in his own helicopter and, I expect, blowing off the Brownies’ Easter bonnets. The old Duke of Gloucester used to arrive at Wellington College every year in a helicopter because it blew off the masters’ hats and made the boys laugh. There’s one in every royal family.
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