The Ambridge Socialist
July 5th
David Archer confesses to pushing Nigel off the roof
On 2nd January 2011 David Archer and Nigel Pargetter were on the roof of Lower Loxley removing Xmas banners. Nigel fell and died. There was a perfunctory investigation and nothing was done, an all too familiar story. The Ambridge Socialist has always maintained that David Archer pushed Nigel deliberately.
The matter has now re-surfaced. Dum Tee Dum have been running a series of Friday evening zoom meetings hosted by Roifield Brown with guests from the Archers. In June Graham Seed (Nigel) appeared and underlined that he had been pushed by David Archer and that justice must prevail. On 3rd July Tim Bentinck (David Archer) was the guest and freely confessed that he had pushed Nigel. ‘Somebody had to do it’ he claimed. Surely it is time for a murder inquiry to be opened?
The Ambridge Socialist poll
Is it time for Sergeant Burns to arrest David Archer for the murder of Nigel Pargetter
Susan Carter set for the sack?
Susan Carter has been continuing her recent career as a Radio Borsetshire DJ this week, with the usual inappropriate comments. Back in the real world though the BBC has announced cuts to regional broadcasting. We wonder if Susan’s new job is under threat…
The Horrabins and the Aldridges. Class struggle news
This was also the week of the Bull quiz. A complete list of the questions and answers doesn’t seem to be available but we do know that Susan was on the same team as Jennifer- it was family- and that this led to an outbreak of class war as Susan corrected Jennifer on a Latin saying. Could it be that the Horrabins are competing with the Grundys for the right to be the main proletarian challengers to the Archer Dynasty now that Joe has gone?
Tracy Horrabin and the cricket team
Tracy has rightly told Susan that there has always been privilege in Ambridge and for that reason she is determined to hang on to her role as cricket club captain. Very shortly now we’ll see how effective her training sessions have been.
In Other News
Freddie has fixed a toilet at Lower Loxley, albeit it took him all week.
Elizabeth has had an on-line ‘date’ with Ifty. It was apparently ‘boring’. Its Ambridge, what did she expect?
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