Beard Liberation Front
20th May
Hirsute wind warning. As Dylan reaches 80 the answer is not blowin’ in the wind
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that as high winds feature across much of the UK until Friday afternoon beard wearers are strongly advised to take special care of their beards.
The campaigners say that while danger to life and limb is the central issue when extreme weather hits, a secondary concern for organic beard wearers is that exposing the beard to high and blustery winds may blow the beard out of shape and can cause permanent hair and follicle damage in some cases.
It is less likely that designer and some hipster beards will suffer significant wind damage
The BLF advises the following precautions:
Keep the beard slightly damp at all times by immersing it in a glass of hazy IPA or imperial stout. This will give solidity to the beard hairs and prevent them being blown around.
Use a scarf or snood to protect the beard at all times
Secure the beard with elastic bands, strapping the hairs to the chin
If the beard is blown out of shape use a hair dryer to re-form the hairs in the correct position and then stay indoors for a several hours to allow the hairs and follicles to recover
BLF organiser Keith Flett said, the answer is most definitely not blowin’ in the wind this week even on Bob Dylan’s 80th. We advise the hirsute to take care out there
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