The Ambridge Socialist
2nd January
New claims that David Archer is innocent of Pargetter murder
11 years ago Nigel Pargetter fell to his death from the roof of his ancestral home Lower Loxley. He had gone up there with David Archer to take down a festive decoration. The view of many at that time was that Archer had pushed Pargetter and in a bid to consolidate the Archer family as the ruling class of Borsetshire. It being Ambridge the police did nothing.
The Ambridge Socialist ran an anniversary poll which found that 43% now think Archer was innocent of Nigel Pargetter’s murder. By contrast 32% still believe him to be guilty. Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, we suspect that Archer mobilised his network of ruling class forelock tuggers to fix this poll.
Sgt Burns skinny dip in the Am
Sgt Burns has been skinny dipping in the Am to prepare, he said, for his role as Jesus in the Mysteries. He was spotted emerging by Chris and Martha who were out for a walk. Fortunately it was radio.
Ruairi: Dodgy in the best Aldridge tradition
Ruairi returned home after Christmas and was somewhat unpleasant to Alice suggesting that she might clear off out of Ambridge. A real chip off the old Aldridge block clearly. The Ambridge Socialist however suspects that Ruairi is in fact deeply dodgy. No doubt, at Archers speed, this will play out in due course.
Roooth and Stella
The Guardian think that Roooth and Stella may be embarking on a lesbian affair. The Ambridge Socialist would welcome such a development. It would just remain to get rid of David Archer, and as the Guardian, which knows about these things, has suggested there are plenty of options.
The Return of Mike Tucker
Mike Tucker (Terry Molloy) has returned from Birmingham for the New Year. He was the last union representative in Ambridge and there is plenty of work for him to do…
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