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Storms Dudley & Eunice: emergency guidelines for beard wearers issued

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2022 by kmflett

Beard Liberation Front

16th February

Storms Dudley & Eunice: emergency guidelines for beard wearers issued

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that as high winds caused by Storms Dudley and Eunice are set to hit the UK over the next few days beard wearers are strongly advised to take special care of their beards.

The campaigners say that while danger to life and limb is the central issue when extreme weather hits, a secondary concern for organic beard wearers is that exposing the beard to high and blustery winds may blow the beard out of shape and can cause permanent hair and follicle damage in some cases.

It is less likely that designer and some hipster beards will suffer significant wind damage

The BLF advises the following precautions:

Keep the beard slightly damp at all times by immersing it in a glass of hazy IPA,imperial stout, or alternative beverage. This will give solidity to the beard hairs and prevent them being blown around.

Use a scarf or snood to protect the beard at all times

Secure the beard with elastic bands, strapping the hairs to the chin

If the beard is blown out of shape use a hair dryer to re-form the hairs in the correct position and then stay indoors for a several hours to allow the hairs and follicles to recover

Update 17th February

With Amber and Red weather warnings for wind issued for Friday the BLF has updated its advice and underlined that beard wearers should only venture out for essential reasons. There is a risk of significant follicle damage

BLF organiser Keith Flett said, the answer is most definitely not blowin’ in the wind today. We advise the hirsute to take care out there and only venture out for essential reasons

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