Articles

Campaign for Real Santas issues Black Friday Warning

In Uncategorized on November 25, 2022 by kmflett

CAMPAIGN FOR REAL SANTAS

Organised by the Beard Liberation Front

29th November

Contact Keith Flett @keithbeard.bsky.social

Ho Ho Ho: Campaign For Real Santas issues Black Friday Warning

After its official 2024 launch The Campaign for Real Santas, which promotes Santas with genuine organic beards, has issued a Black Friday warning. It says that people looking for bargains need to be particularly wary of false bearded Santas trying to promote dubious ‘offers’

The campaign promotes real Santas with genuine beards by warning people to be aware of absurd false bearded Santas as the busiest pre-Christmas shopping weekends get underway.

The Campaigners say that with unemployment and under-employment amongst mature men over 50, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to use an assistant Santa who does not have a real beard.

At the same time the Campaign is also keen to encourage more female Santas with organic knitted beards.

Campaigners are urging parents and children to demand that Santas vigorously tug their beards as a definitive test as to whether they are in the presence of a real Santa or not.

CFRS organiser Keith Flett said, in recent times Black Friday has seen an early seasonal peak in fake bearded Santas. Our strong advice is: give them a close shave

THREE STEPS TO SPOT A GENUINE SANTA

1 Ask the Santa to tug their beard. If it comes away, then the Santa is FAKE

2 If the beard remains intact ask the Santa to tug their beard again. If the Santa swears then they are genuine. If they simply repeat a ‘ho ho ho’ mantra they are FAKE

3 The Campaign for Real Santas says that genuine Santas must have just the right mix of bonhomie and grumpiness and a real organic beard.

Notes

The Organic Santa of 2024 will be named on December 18th.

The Campaign for Real Santas is organised by the Beard Liberation Front

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