The Ambridge Socialist
Reporting the class struggle in Borsetshire
5th February
Should Aldridge have been arrested?
During the week Brian Aldridge was found sitting on a bench in the grounds of his former residence Home Farm. It had to be sold after Aldridge was fined for polluting the Am and is now occupied by the Gills. Understandably Ms Gill was disturbed by Aldridge’s presence. Sgt Knacker Burns was involved but did nothing. He noted that trespassing is a civil matter. Indeed but if it had been Eddie Grundy sitting there would the same reasonable approach have been taken?
Self-styled farmer Jeremy Clarkson must be banned from Ambridge
The Times has reported dissent from locals over Jeremy Clarkson’s Cotswold Farm, Diddly Squat. Bigot and misogynist Clarkson has been refused permission by the local Council to open a restaurant and increase car parking spaces. The Council’s view is that Clarkson’s farm shop takes business from other similar outlets in the area that sell superior produce.
The Times reports that many locals dislike Clarkson’s presence but he claims they are all incomers from London.
The Ambridge Socialist is concerned that the current crisis in ruling class Ambridge, with the future of Home Farm under threat with the death of Jennifer Aldridge, may lead Clarkson to shift his operations to Ambridge. It has no farm shop, Tony and Pat’s veg box operation is admirable but not quite on Clarkson’s scale. It also has a non-interventionist Council.
Ambridge Socialist Editor Keith Flett said, we think Clarkson should be banned from Ambridge. There are some dodgy characters in the village and then there is the owner of Diddly Squat.
Ruairi purged by Julienne
Julienne has finally got fed up with Ruairi and who can blame her? Clearly its time for a new business relationship with a new escort. What will Ruairi do now? Liz Truss is reported to be relaunching her political career. Perhaps there is an opening for a young farmer..
In Other News
Chelsea has cut the hair of Lynda and Lillian and had discussions with Freddie in the Orangery. Let’s hope we hear more from her and less from the Archer Dynasty
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