Beard Liberation Front
Media Release
5th June
Contact BLF Organiser Keith Flett @keithbeard.bsky.social
Start of Meteorological Summer, beard trimming guidelines issued.
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers which campaigns against beardism, irrational prejudice against the hirsute, has issued advisory authorisation to the hirsute to trim their beards with June 1st being the official start of summer
The campaigners have advised the hirsute to take special care of their beards as temperatures continue to be at 20C or above in some areas.
BLF organiser Keith Flett said, shaving off the beard in the UK during summer temperatures is a serious error. Facial hair has a cooling effect on the skin and exposed to the sun’s rays after shaving sunburn is a likely outcome
Flett continued, however when in Algiers in 1882 Karl Marx had a full beard trim-not a shave-, as opposed to pruning, and exceptionally this is also permitted until further notice.
Guidelines for maintaining & trimming the Beard in summer weather
If the beard is above three inches in length significant summer weather trimming is in order, following the guidelines set by Marx in 1882
If the beard starts to over-heat immersing it in the freezer cabinet of the nearest supermarket will provide an instant remedy
Hand held fans may also be used to ventilate the beard
If the beard starts to dry out in the heat and follicles become brittle immersion in water will help. Alternatively a glass of craft beer will moisturise and nourish the beard.
Trimming should on no account be done in a barbers shops. Barbers are notorious pogonophobes who will enthusiastically ‘over-trim’ and shave the beard entirely
Trimming should be done using a pair of fine scissors and a mirror to a length and style to suit. DO NOT use any form of shaver. Trimming is a craft job
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