Campaign For Real Santas
24th December
Campaign for Real Santas says forget Suella Braverman, Santa is welcome here, watch out for Tory imposters
The Campaign for Real Santas, which campaigns for Santas to have genuine organic or knitted beards, has said that it’s the peak time for Santas
Despite what former Home Secretary Suella Braverman may think Santa is not an illegal entrant. Santa is welcome here.
The Campaign has issued special Xmas guidelines so that if Santa is spotted it is easy to tell if they are genuine or a Tory imposter.
HOW TO SPOT A GENUINE SANTA
1 Tug the beard of the Santa. If it comes away easily, then the Santa is FAKE
2 Tug the beard of the Santa again. If the Santa swears then they are genuine. If they simply repeat a ‘ho ho ho’ mantra they may be a Tory
3 The Campaign for Real Santas says that genuine Santas must have just the right mix of bonhomie and gruffness and a real organic beard.
4 If the Santa tries to take a present from a child instead of giving them one they are a Tory Imposter.
CFRS organiser Keith Flett said, Santa is a key part of the Christmas story. Someone who travels the globe without papers and hands out presents for free. It’s everything that Suella Braverman and the Tories hate, as well as the beard of course.
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