Kmflett's Blog

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that it hopes the ancient May Day tradition of Beard Waggling will levitate Nigel Farage out of his natural environment, the pub, and send him back into a well deserved obscurity.

The beard waggle involves shaking the beard vigorously from side to side and in doing so stimulating air currents that can cause objects to levitate slightly.

The BLF traditionally asks its supporters on the traditional London May Day march from Clerkenwell Green (this year on May 4th), to waggle their beards individually or collectively as the mood takes them to celebrate the arrival of Spring and to strike a blow against a clean-shaven political culture

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, we are hoping this year that if weather conditions are right the force of the May Day beard waggle will create atmospheric conditions which will levitate Nigel Farage out of the pub

How to practice for May Day beard waggling

1] Make sure the beard is in a good aero-dynamic state. If you have not pruned it so far in 2025 now is the time to do so.

2] Make sure the beard is supple but also dry.

3] Inspect the beard for any split ends or damaged hairs that may impede a waggle

4] Choose a suitable location to waggle, preferably in the sun rather than the shade

5] Move the beard vigorously from side to side and then up and down while otherwise standing still. Repeat several times

5] While waggling the traditional chant is, Hail the Beard, Hail Spring

5] Alternatively beard wagglers may simply intone Farage Out, Out, Out, Out