Kmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

26th May

Beard Campaigners issue urgent hot weather advice for the hirsute: avoid Karl Marx’s shaving error

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has issued emergency advice for the hirsute as parts of Britain face potentially the hottest days of the year so far.

Tips for protecting the Beard in hot weather

If the beard is above six inches in length moderate summer pruning may be in order. However this will only be needed if the hot weather continues

Where possible do not go out between 10am and 6pm and stay in a cool or air conditioned space, such as a library or pub.

If the beard starts to overheat immersing it in the freezer cabinet of the nearest supermarket will provide an instant remedy

Hand held fans may also be used to ventilate the beard

If the beard starts to dry out in the heat and follicles become brittle regular immersion in a glass of craft beer or lager will moisturise and nourish the beard

Do not use beard oils. In heat these may make the beard a sticky mess

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, as well as warmer temperatures the UV index will also be high. We urge the hirsute to avoid the error Marx made when he had his beard shaved in Algiers in late Spring 1882 only to find a few weeks later when in Paris that this led to his entirely unprotected face becoming sunburnt.