Beard Liberation Front
22nd December
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has been working on guidelines that will allow the hirsute to eat stollen without inadvertently turning their beard white with icing sugar and hence becoming Santa.
There is no definitive guidance as both stollen and beards come in different shapes and sizes.
However trials by the BLF have found that eating a stollen bite first broken up into smaller pieces with a fork which are designed to go in the mouth rather than the beard can work.
Contender for Beard of the Year 2024 Michael Rosen has suggested an alternative which may work just as well if not better:
Beard Safety Advice for Stollen Consumption, Fletty: 1. Don’t try to eat it with your fingers or smearing will take place. 2. The use of a single spoon or a single fork will not prevent dangerous spillage. 3. Knife and fork use essential.
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