Amorim’s beard not directly to blame for Man Utd defeat at Grimsby
Beard Liberation Front
28th August
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that a special investigation by its Football Beards Unit has found that Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim’s beard was not directly to blame for the club’s defeat by Grimsby in the League Cup on Wednesday.
The investigation showed that during the game there was a persistent and very heavy downpour of rain. This meant that Amorim’s beard became water logged resulting in a failure of beard power.
In practice because his follicles were water logged Amorim could not effectively send tactical messages to his players by stroking, pulling or positioning his beard as he would normally have done.
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