Kmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

22nd May

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that the squad named by England manager Thomas Tuchel for the Men’s football World Cup looks distinctly short of Beard Power.

Tuchel, who sometimes sports a proto-beard looks as if he is relying particularly on the Beard Power of Captain Harry Kane. It appears that Kane has re-formulated his follicles to facilitate maximum aero-dynamic advantage on the pitch.

The campaigners say there is evidence that beard power can influence ball play particularly when it comes to free kicks and headed balls. Correctly positioned the follicles can promote air currents which can then influence the direction of the ball

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, its concerning that Thomas Tuchel seems to have a limited understanding of Beard Power in football. A lot will be resting on Harry Kane’s match winning follicles.