Kmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

9th July

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has issued a statement on Saturday’s World Cup quarter final between England and Norway.

The campaigners acknowledge that Norway’s Erling Haaland and England’s Harry Kane are likely to have a significant impact and influence over the result and goals by either player could be decisive.

However Kane’s Beard Power which gives him greater control over the ball in the air, as movement of his follicles creates air currents that can waft the ball into the goal, should give him an advantage over the perpetually clean shaven Haaland.