Yes, I am afraid that it is the Labour party, the Lib Dems, the coalition of chaos, the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati and, dare I say, the anti-growth coalition that we have to thank for the disruption we are seeing on our roads today.
Commons 18th October 2022
Test Match Special’s Ask The Umpire, Beard Questions.
The first tranche of England cricket Tests, against the West Indies, concluded on Sunday. A second tranche will occur in a few weeks when England play Sri Lanka.
One feature of Test Match Special’s ball by ball coverage of the Tests is a lunchtime feature, Ask The Umpire, featuring former international cricket Umpire John Holder. Its hosted by the BBC’s cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew and former Somerset player and Guardian writer Vic Marks.
The Beard Liberation Front usually sends in a beard related cricket question. On July 26th it featured the question of whether a player drying a ball in their beard would constitute ball tampering. John Holder ruled that it would:
BBC Radio 5 Live – Test Match Special, Ask The Umpire – with John Holder
In the afternoon session Jonathan Agnew discussed with former England Test below Steven Finn a question from earlier years. On that occasion the BLF had asked what the view would be if players in the slip cordon joined their beards together and a ball was caught in the resulting mass of facial hair. John Holder ruled on that occasion that there was nothing in the Laws of Cricket that would prevent that.
Agnew reasonably pointed out that the detail on how exactly this would work was absent. How for example would the slip cordon unjoin their beard at the end of the over.
The BLF Research Dept has looked at this and come up with several possible scenarios:
1 The slip cordon could simply move in unison from one end of the pitch to the other and the beards could stay joined until such time as the cordon was not required.
2 The beard would not need to be physically joined together but sufficiently adjacent to create the mass of facial hair required for a collective catch
Marx and Engels were frequent visitors to a range of English seaside resorts, primarily in Kent and Sussex. However the East Coast was also a consideration.
Engels wrote to Marx on 22nd July 1870 with a range of options:
Where do you plan to go to the SEASIDE? South of the Humber there is nothing on the east coast. T o the north there is Scarborough — dear and crowded, and Bridlington Quay. If you decide on the latter, we could meet there.
Their correspondence does not reveal what decision they came to. After all if they were at a resort together they would not have been writing to each other and unfortunately Twitter and WhatsApp did not then exist.
Marx did apologise to a correspondent whose letter he had received on 21st July 1870, for a delay in replying as he had been on a trip in the country. By 26th July he was back in London.
Marx did go away in August 1870. He originally planned to go to Brighton, conveniently near, but discovered the weather was too hot and an emigre he did not wish to meet was also there. Instead he went to Ramsgate. He stayed for several weeks while trying to recover from sciatica, discussing with Engels if hot sea baths would help. Engels was unsure and unfortunately his reliable GP was ‘in Wales’ on holiday and unavailable
Ysanne Churchman, who played Grace Archer, has died aged 99. She was written out of the Archers in September 1955 after she had contacted her union Equity about getting equal pay for those appearing in the programme.
This enraged Tory scriptwriter Godfrey Basely and she was promptly written out. She had a successful acting career and appeared as a number of other characters in the Archers over the years.
Tripe
Vince has offered to provide tripe and a range of offal varieties for Ambridge events. This is the kind of cuisine that is needed if Ambridge is indeed to meet Masterchef
Hilda
Hilda who is a true cat class warrior, perpetually and rightly attacking various members of the Ambridge ruling class perpetually gets dissed in the Archers. We say Hilda is a heroine
The Fete and the Stables
Class war is never far away in Ambridge and the summer seems likely to provide a particularly interesting variant. A class struggle not between proletarians and bourgeois but between class fractions of the Ambridge bourgeoise. Lynda (this year with the help of Joy) is planning the annual Ambridge Fete. However Lilian has organised a grand re-opening of the Stables for exactly the same day.
The Ambridge Socialist believes that the Stables should be knocked down and replaced by affordable Council housing. However while we wait for the Labour Government to act on this the clash by Lynda and Lilian may provide opportunities for the proletarians of Ambridge to have a positive summer season..
From the Abattoir to the Vets: The Song Remains The Same: Join a Union
Ambridge and environs is beset with workplace issues. Things are always go better when there is a union
The far right political business ReformUK largely owned by Nigel Farage claimed during the July Election that it was attracting the youth vote (18-30). Farage appeared on TikTok(not via his own hand obviously) and tried a few mentions of Andrew Tate.
YouGov have done post-Election polling on the youth vote. Psephology during the Election and its accuracy has been called into question. Most polls did not over estimate Tory support or lack of it, but they did over estimate the Labour vote. This might have reflected Labour strategy of just doing enough to win over 400 seats rather than piling up votes. Whether this will ultimately prove a good strategy time will tell.
The YouGov polling found that 9.5% of younger votes backed Reform compared to 8% for the Tories. This was due to a decline in the Tory vote. In 2015 younger votes represented 9% of the UKIP vote when it had much less social media presence.
Neither Farage or his TikTok presence made the impact amongst younger voters that he claimed.
Labour support amongst younger voters did increase but the significant rise was in backing for the Green Party. It had 6% of the 18-30 vote in 2015 and 18% in 2024. Some figures for 2017 would be interesting for context.
However it can be concluded that youth support for Reform was yet more Farage BS
The Pravda Brewery in Lviv has produced a 5.8% milk stout. According to the landlord of the Ypres Inn in Rye, whose opinion on beer is reliable, its highly drinkable.
Its named of course after someone who is certainly more popular in Ukraine than he is in Britain. The politics and the war in Ukraine can of course be debated and are (my view being that both Russia and the US should keep out)but its a reminder that beer and politics are in many varied ways related
Argenteuil (north-west Paris) Thursday 3rd August 1882
To Engels
….The weather up till now has been so far below the average for summer (French)
that the season which starts in June in Enghien is regarded as a FAIL-
URE by the établissement thermald and something ‘better’ is looked for
in August and September. Constant changes of temperature, the sky
often heavily overcast, particularly in the mornings after rain and orages (storms),’
violent winds, moisture-laden atmosphere and hence often une chaleur
lourde/ alias London’s ‘CLOSE’ STATUS. The French have been at pains
to stave off an alliance with England ; by contrast, the English
climate (I MEAN specifically the London climate) would seem to be
making itself increasingly at home here, in Paris and environs.
Such is the case this year at any rate….
There is talk of a Bazball Mk 11 in England’s Test cricket team.
Certainly the above stat (from the Times 26th July 2024) suggests that the early period of aggressive batting has been tempered somewhat.
Of course context is all- the condition of pitches, the state of individual matches and so on.
However if as the Beard Liberation Front have long claimed Bazball is really Beardball some trimming has taken place..
Beard Liberation Front
27th July
The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that Keir Starmer faced a significant hair challenge at the Olympics Opening Ceremony in Paris on Friday evening.
The weather was wet, underlining that summer weather is not British but European.
Most spectators were pictured wearing ponchos covering their heads. However the Labour leader had a raincoat but no hat. There are pictures showing Starmer with the hood up but mostly his hair is uncovered.
Clearly there had been a strategy discussion about the impact of the weather on his award winning hair. A hat or other covering is far from ideal in respect of the impact on his head follicles. While the rain will make his hair wet this can be remedied with a hair dryer which can gently waft the Starmer hair back into top condition. No doubt he was advised by his regular barber Chris at Blue Steel in Dartmouth Park Hill, NW5 (Tom Baldwin’s biography)
BLF Organiser Keith Flett, Keir Starmer’s hair is a key part of his political image and he is right to take appropriate steps to stop weather damage. A hat stops the hair from contact with the atmosphere and can lead to bald patches over time. We think that the Labour leader was rocking the Arsenal Terraces look on Friday night.
Its a sort of summer tradition. At a convenient lunch interval on Test Match Special’s ball by ball coverage of England Tests, former umpire John Holder hosts an Ask The Umpire session.
One took place on the Friday of the Edgbaston Test against West Indies on 26th July. Hosted by Jonathan Agnew and Vic Marks Holder fielded a range of interesting questions about the Laws of cricket.
As often one came from the Beard Liberation Front
Men’s cricket teams with a majority of beard wearers are now common. A bowler finding that the ball needs drying tosses it to a fielder with a beard. The player dries the ball using his substantial beard. However he has previously applied beard oil. Should the umpire investigate if this means the condition of the ball has been tampered with?
John Holder ruled that a player drying the ball with his beard is out with the Laws of cricket. Hence if it did take place the Umpire would judge that the ball had been tampered with. A 5 run penalty would be awarded and the ball changed.
A further Ask The Umpire session is scheduled for the England v Sri Lanka Test in Manchester in September. The Beard Liberation Front research department is formulating potential questions
Link to Podcast of Ask The Umpire 26th July 2024
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