Kmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

24th December

contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

TLS Editor Stig Abell has it all to do in final day battle for Beard of the Year votes

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said with the Beard of the Year 2019 vote closing at midnight on Christmas Eve Times Literary Supplement Editor Stig Abell has it all to do to shave Strictly It Takes Two and Supermarket Sweep host Rylan Clark-Neal for the title.

Rylan fan’s votes saw him surge into the lead on Monday but there is still time for Stig Abell supporters to make the vote a close shave.

The winner is announced on December 28^th following an Electoral College review of the poll leaders. This has become necessary in recent years because of bot activity on the poll.

The criteria for Beard of the Year is as follows:

The Award is NOT about people who grow beards in their bedrooms and post pictures of them on the internet

The Award IS about people with consistent beards in the public eye who promote a positive image of the hirsute

TV doctor Xand Van Tulleken and cosmologist Peter Coles currently at Maynooth University in Ireland shared the Award in 2018.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, the lead has been changing on a regular basis between Stig and Rylan but on Monday Rylan had a surge. Can Stig still shave him? This is one Christmas battle of the beards Santa wont be winning

Beard of the Year 2019 shortlist

Rylan Clark-Neal

Ben Bellamy

Jeremy Corbyn

Alexei Sayle

Mauricio Pochettino

Billy Connolly

Ben Stokes

Jurgen Klopp

Bob Harris

Stig Abell

Michael Rosen

Idris Elba

Billy Bragg

George Clooney

Chris Woakes

Christmas 2019: the rise of Pigs in Blankets

If there has been one item that has characterised Christmas 2019 it has been the rise of pigs and blankets.

Of course they have been around while, cocktail sausages wrapped in bacon, but the rise in 2019 has been phenomenal.

It may have had more prominence due to a temporary (no doubt Brexit inspired) shortage of them in Wetherspoons. Please do not comment further on this, the crisis has long since been sorted.

I think it may have started with large packs of pigs in blankets crisps, available in Lidl and Aldi (of course) but then in M&S.

Then of course there are the supermarket sandwiches, usually termed pigs under blankets, which are universally available.

Leon has been doing a pigs in blankets breakfast roll while EAT (a central London sandwich chain now owned by Pret) has done a lunchtime hot version with mash, and crispy onions.

Moving on M&S has produced a pigs in blankets quiche and Sainsburys are selling pups in blankets(a vegan version). Not to be outdone Lidl are selling a yard long pig in blanket and Aldi triple pigs in a blanket.

As I type I have in front of me pigs in blankets tortilla chips and pigs in blankets coated peanuts.

What this says about Britain at Christmas 2019 I’m not yet sure but pigs in blankets have certainly become a core part of the national cuisine.

Beard Liberation Front

23rd December

contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

TLS Editor Stig Abell & TV’s Rylan Clark-Neal head to head in final battle for Beard of the Year votes

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said with the Beard of the Year 2019 vote closing at midnight on Christmas Eve it has become a battle of the beards between Times Literary Supplement Editor Stig Abell and Strictly It Takes Two and Supermarket Sweep host Rylan Clark-Neal

The winner is announced on December 28^th following an Electoral College review of the poll leaders. This has become necessary in recent years because of bot activity on the poll.

The criteria for Beard of the Year is as follows:

The Award is NOT about people who grow beards in their bedrooms and post pictures of them on the internet

The Award IS about people with consistent beards in the public eye who promote a positive image of the hirsute

TV doctor Xand Van Tulleken and cosmologist Peter Coles currently at Maynooth University in Ireland shared the Award in 2018.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, the lead is changing on an hourly basis between Stig and Rylan. This is one Christmas battle of the beards Santa wont be winning

Beard of the Year 2019 shortlist

Rylan Clark-Neal

Ben Bellamy

Jeremy Corbyn

Alexei Sayle

Mauricio Pochettino

Billy Connolly

Ben Stokes

Jurgen Klopp

Bob Harris

Stig Abell

Michael Rosen

Idris Elba

Billy Bragg

George Clooney

Chris Woakes

Spurs history suggests that it is not a football club to welcome racists or fascists.

Sometimes it has needed to be reminded. When Spurs Against the Nazis (part of the Anti-Nazi League) opposed the National Front 40 years ago the Club wasnt so sure at first, but soon came on board.

Subsequent attempts by the BNP to cause trouble in the 1980s and 1990s were given short shrift.

These days Stand Up to Racism on the ground and Show Racism The Red Card at an official level continue the work of making sure that racist supporters of Tommy Robinson and the like get no quarter at White Hart Lane.

Its work that needs doing in each generation and self styled Spurs ‘fans’ can be found on fascist gatherings in 2024

‘North London Elite’, the reality: Tottenham

Below is the 12^th December Election result for Tottenham:

BENCE, Andrew Charles Social Democratic Party 91

CHAN, Emma     Green Party        1,873

LAMMY, David  Labour Party      35,621

NEWHALL, James Ainsley              Conservative Party          5,446

PALMER, Tammy Catherine         Liberal Democrats – to Stop Brexit            3,168

SILBERMAN, Jonathan   Communist League         42

SWEENEY, Frank               Workers’ Revolutionary Party     88

TURAY, Abdul Hamid       Brexit Party         527

Labour won with 76% of the vote.

Did these votes come from what some in the media term a ‘North London Elite’?

Below is a link to the most recent statistics covering the Tottenham Constituency. Let’s take a couple of them to give some indication of a likely answer

Gross Weekly Pay 2019

Tottenham £598.6

London £736.5

Unemployment November 2019

Tottenham 4.4%

London 3.0%

https://www.nomisweb.co.uk/reports/lmp/wpca/1929380313/report.aspx?pc=n179hg#tabempunemp

The Ambridge Socialist

December 22nd

Reporting on the Class Struggle in Borsetshire

Josh Archer cash machine heist rivals Nelson Gabriel Borchester mail van robbery in 1967

A digger hired out from Josh Archer has been used in a cash machine robbery. It looked like a third party crime until it was revealed that Josh had fled the country, probably with the proceeds. Borsetshire Constabulary are investigating what could be the biggest Borsetshire heist since Nelson Gabriel was charged with robbing a mail van in 1967

Ambridge Bourgeoisie at Christmas Class War

Justin Elliott declared his intention a week last Friday to ‘get rewilding done’ and in doing so hoodwinked Pip and (to an extent) Phoebe into signing up to a deal that gives Borchester Land effective control over the project.

Opposition came from the unlikely quarter of Borchester Land Board member Brian Aldridge who described the deal as ‘greenwash’ and Daveed Archer who backed him. Make no mistake the bourgeoisie of Ambridge are at war but Justin represents the dominant and much better funded faction.

Should Brian be Expelled from the BL Board?

Brian was called to a meeting of the BL Board before Xmas to explain why he broke commercial confidence and leaked key parts of the Rewilding deal to Phoebe (not that she paid any attention). A decision on whether he will be expelled is due in January.

The Grundy World of Christmas

Forget Xmas Pantos past or Ghost stories at Lower Loxley this is the cultural highlight of the Ambridge year not least because it captures the real zeitgeist of the village, particularly with Eddie as Santa and Tombola prizes from the Gill’s skip

In Other News

Nasher is back and between her and Joy an exciting festive season is certain

Susan has given the OK to Roman, Tracy’s new special friend

Winter Solstice heralds start of seasonal beard growth

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Ed Stone/Shutterstock (3439312k)
Wizard, Merlin of England amongst Hundreds of druids, pagans and revellers celebrating the Winter Solstice at Stonehenge, the cause for a pagan celebration, held on the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.
Winter Solstice at Stonehenge, Wiltshire, Britain – 21 Dec 2013

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that the Winter Solstice on 22nd December, the shortest day, is also the start of the traditional beard growing season.

A beard started on the Winter Solstice is traditionally left untrimmed until Twelfth Night.

The Solstice is marked by Druids at Stonehenge, often with significant facial hair on display.

The day is traditionally one of celebration for beard wearers who take the chance to toast their hirsuteness with an appropriate beverage.

BLF organiser Keith Flett said, December 22nd marks the start of the beard growing season. The reality is that at this time of year it is simply too dark in the morning to shave

Link to Beard of the Year poll

On Xmas Beers & Brewing Heritage : Stingo & Youngs Winter Warmer

If you live in London you’ll be able to find two classic winter or Xmas beers in cask on draught this year.

The first is Youngs Winter Warmer a 5% ruby red beer now brewed either at Bedford or Burton. It is one of the great survivors of London beers, being originally sold in pins on the bar in Youngs pubs. These days its on handpump. I wasn’t sure about the 2018 vintage but in 2019 its back on top form.

Not a London beer but available in their London pubs that sell cask ale is Sam Smith’s Stingo. Its an oak aged barley wine (Stingo is a generic name for the beer style) which they claim is between 8-9%. Sam Smiths and their pubs are problematic (or should be)for anyone on the left but, sporting a false beard, I stopped by the Chandos in Trafalgar Square for a half (don’t imagine Sams have ever heard of third of a pint measures- they haven’t). The pub is always packed but the beer was excellent fully deserving of its very high score on Rate Beer.

There are lots of Xmas special beers around these days but these two are classics going back into Britain’s brewing heritage and well worth seeking out.

Keen media watchers in December 2019 may have seen a Tory press release that Boris Johnson was to help with Christmas lunch for troops in Estonia. What a selfless thing to do for the PM. Give up his Christmas Day to be with public servants. Except of course Johnson is the reverse of selfless, he is a narcissist. The Christmas lunch was a flying visit before Christmas. Keir Starmer did the same in 2024 but with notably less self promotion involved.

That does however beg the question of what Johnson does do at Christmas.

There are some clues in several biographies of Johnson. Sonia Purnell in Just Boris notes that he eagerly participated in his youth in a game to see who could eat the hottest mince pie.

In his adult years he seems to have enjoyed Christmas breaks in India or ski-ing. According to Andrew Gimson’s Boris at a Spectator Christmas lunch in 2004 he opined about some relationship difficulties ‘put on a good Christmas and it’ll be all right’.

His Christmas whereabouts in 2024 are so far unknown but it is likely to be in a non-UK location paid for by someone else.

In short Johnson is someone who enjoys a good Christmas which is more than can be said for those who will be using foodbanks or on the streets this December

Campaign for Real Santas

Media Release 21^st December

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Campaigners warn last weekend before Xmas is peak period for Santas with fake beards

The Campaign for Real Santas, which promotes Santas with genuine organic beards, an annual initiative to promote real Santas with genuine beards, has warned that the last shopping weekend before Xmas is a peak period for fake Santas.

The Campaigners say that with unemployment and under-employment amongst mature men over 50, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to use an assistant Santa who does not have a real beard.

At the same time the Campaign is also keen to encourage more female Santas with organic knitted beards.

Campaigners are urging parents and children to vigorously tug the beards of Santas they encounter as a definitive test as to whether they are in the presence of a real Santa or not.

CFRS organiser Keith Flett said, we have reached peak season for bogus bearded Santas and our research suggests they are proliferating. Do not accept a Santa unless they have real beard

THREE STEPS TO SPOT A GENUINE SANTA

1 Tug the beard of the Santa. If lumps of cotton wool come away, then the Santa is FAKE

2 If the beard remains intact tug the beard of the Santa again. If the Santa swears then they are genuine. If they simply repeat a ‘ho ho ho’ mantra they are FAKE

3 The Campaign for Real Santas says that genuine Santas must have just the right mix of bonhomie and grumpiness and a real organic beard.

Notes

The Campaign for Real Santas is organised by the Beard Liberation Front