Kmflett's Blog

Teach Yourself Boris Johnson. 2020 Lockdown edition

Here is a brief guide to Johnson’s English

Cripes: I’ve been found out again

I Say: precursor to Johnson ‘bon mot’

Bullingdon: code for a fine British institution

Damn: see Cripes

Bother: see Damn and Cripes

My friends: see Bullingdon

Blurt: routine Johnson saying

Wiff-Waff: made up term

Piccaninnies: see watermelon smiles

Watermelon smiles: people* want me to speak as I find

Business: F*ck

Herd Immunity: follow the science

Cocaine: see change the subject

Wine: see Dean Martin

Dean Martin: Little Ole Wine Drinker Me

World View: ‘I believe in spreading peace & love’+

Stay Safe: Refers to FTSE 100 share index

Lockdown: for the few not the many

Furlough: see Cheltenham

Cheltenham: see Business

On Your Bike: see Norman Tebbit

Norman Tebbit: ‘Boris Johnson is back in charge (Telegraph 27.4.20)

*people=racists

+letter to Toby Young, July 2005

The 1963 hardback edition of E P Thompson’s Making of the English Working Class (Gollancz) featured on the cover, appropriately, an engraving related to Peterloo.

In a sense the events of 1819 were at the core of the book. Thompson saw them as setting the template for how both the nature of the working class movement and the State’s response to it developed.

The 1968 paperback edition which was the 1000th Pelican featured a detail from a print by R D Havell which had in the background a locomotive built by John Blenkinsop.The print itself is from a plate in George Walker’s 1814 book, Costumes of Yorkshire

George Forster of Leeds Library posted on the book and the specific image in 2012:

The most famous of Walker’s plates is no 3, “The Collier”, because it shows a man working at Middleton Colliery in south Leeds with John Blenkinsop’s recently invented steam engine in the background – the earliest known illustration of a steam locomotive on rails. The text reads:

“One of these workmen is here represented as returning from his labours in his usual costume. This dress is of white cloth bound with red, may probably be ridiculed as quite inconsistent with his sable occupation; but when the necessity of frequent washing is considered, surely none could have been adopted more conducive to cleanliness and health. The West Riding of Yorkshire, it is well known, abounds in coal, the consumption of which is prodigiously increased by the general use of steam engines. In the back ground of the annexed Plate is a delineation of the steam engine lately invented by Mr. Blenkinsop, agent at the colliery of Charles Brandling, esquire, near Leeds, which conveys above twenty waggons loaded with coals from the pits to Leeds. By two of these machines constantly employed by the labour of at least fourteen horses is saved.” [p 7]

http://theleedslibrarycollections.blogspot.com/2012/12/walkers-costume-of-yorkshire-1814.html

The point of course was that steam power and industry came together with the making of a working class. However as John Baxter has commented the figure of a miner was hardly centrally relevant to Thompson’s book:

The 1968 image(a contemporary print from book of Yorkshire costume) does signify advancing industrial change and a proto proletarian..in the form of the Yorkshire miner…however well this links to his heavy utilisation of West Riding activism..Thompson hardly mentioned the miners..something he acknowledged.Yes your alternative would have been appropriate.From research on the West Riding now completed and some in progress we see miners only on the margins of popular radicalism c 1792-1832.They do however get a better look in in work completed by Joe Stanley and myself.

The book remains in print and the cover has changed several times since. The current 2013 edition of the paperback does have a cover featuring a Peterloo scene.

I’m still checking on whether Thompson had any input to the choice of the 1968 cover. Pelican had a distinctive cover design template but The Making seems a little outside of the mainstream in this respect

Thanks to an entertaining tool one can find on the interwebs I’ve suggested an alternative version (above) albeit the format is now a Penguin Classic not a Pelican. A link to the tool is below

https://penguin.jos.ht/

Beard Liberation Front

10th May

England’s win in 2005 Edgbaston Test set Freddie Flintoff on path to 2005 Beard of the Year victory

Stubble…

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that the Bank Holiday reprise of the 2005 Edgbaston Ashes Test between England and Australia(BBC Test Match Special, BBC Sport, Sky Cricket) captures the moment when Freddie Flintoff became a leading contender for the Beard of the Year Award at the end of the year.

Flintoff scored 68 and 73 and took 3-52 and 4-79 in the match, playing a key arguably a totemic role in England’s victory.

Flintoff was well known for starting a game with light facial hair which developed into a fuller beard as the match went on.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, the BBC report notes that Flintoff usually wore some kind of stubble. Ironically under 2020 Beard of the Year rules Flintoff might not have been a contender on that basis.

BBC Report of Freddie Flintoff’s Beard of the Year victory

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4566352.stm

Full match scorecard

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/14823/scorecard/215010/england-vs-australia-2nd-test-australia-tour-of-england-and-scotland-2005

The Ambridge Socialist

VE Day Edition 8-10^th May

The Ambridge Socialist celebrates VE Day: nationalise the land!

Picture from the Archers Appreciation Facebook site. Well worth a visit

With the BBC not currently broadcasting regular updates from Ambridge news of VE Day celebrations in the village may be hard to come by.

We understand that the usual ruling class sycophants like Justin Elliott and Brian Aldridge were out waving Union Jacks and claiming that we are all in it together.

75 years on though the Ambridge Socialist is still winning the peace. We celebrated on the Village Green with glasses of Tumble Tussocks and red flags flying. The defeat of fascism and the foundation of a then fully funded NHS are worth marking.

However we are still demanding the nationalisation of the land, a long standing labour movement demand that was not acted on in 1945. It’s time to expropriate the estates of the Archers and the Aldridges and turn them over to common use under the stewardship of the Grundys.

Bunting crisis for Sgt Knacker Burns

Official VE Days demand union jack bunting and Ambridge has a long term crime problem with bunting theft. Its time for Knacker Burns to take decisive action. No bunting has been reported stolen on VE day. So far.

https://kmflett.wordpress.com/2020/05/08/the-ambridge-socialist-5-years-since-the-ambridge-bunting-theft/

This week’s Ambridge Socialist poll. Ambridge Socialist reporters have been investigating the past activities of Philip Moss. The bunting theft took place well before he officially appeared in the village but now we ask: Was Philip Moss behind the Ambridge bunting theft?

We Salute Joe Grundy, the Cider Club and craft Tumble Tussocks cider

On 7^th May the BBC repeated the official Ambridge wake for Joe Grundy. The report is below

The BBC reported in November 2019

After being part of the annual opening of the Cider Club at Grange Farm, Joe died peacefully in his sleep in October 2019. After the funeral, attended by most of the village, a wake was held at the Tearoom and later members of the Cider Club retired to the Bull to toast Joe with a glass of Tumble Tussock. The Grundys have done Joe proud.

Archers Anarchists Victory in Ambridge quiz 8^th May

Another Friday quiz from our co-thinkers at Archers Anarchists. Hopefully this recent tradition will continue. Many of the questions are interestingly obscure, if not usually political.

Beard Liberation Front

9^th May

Media Release

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Campaigners pay tribute to iconic facial hair wearer Little Richard

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has paid tribute to Little Richard who has died aged 87.

Little Richard recorded a series of songs from the late 1950s including Good Golly Miss Molly which did much to influence the development of popular music in the 1960s.

His immediately recognisable public image, including a trademark pencil-brush moustache, was also central to his popularity.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, many male pop stars of the late 1950s, early 1960s were determinedly clean shaven. Little Richard pioneered a completely different ‘look’ including the moustache as performance art.

VE Day Winston Churchill, Boris Johnson & cheese

Boris Johnson is keen on Churchillian comparisons and indeed has written a book about the war-time Tory leader. Churchill was not particularly admired (at best) in many parts of the left for reasons I wont go into here (I may post on what E P Thompson had to say about Churchill). One cant really argue however that he was a political leader and a comparison with Johnson suggests the current PM falling a very long way indeed short.

There are some peripheral comparisons which can be made however.

Johnson appears to like a drink although whether his drinking is of Churchillian quantities is not known. Both men also count as cheese lovers although even here Johnson probably comes off worse in the comparison.

Watching Saturday Kitchen Live (as one usually does not but times must) I was interested to note details of Churchill’s Cook book (Imperial War Museum 2015,still available). Churchill was of course not doing the cooking. He employed a distinguished female chef before and throughout the war, Georgina Landemere. The book contains her, extensive, recipes. Many are French cuisine focused, reflecting the ruling class food of choice that Raymond Postgate and the Good Food Guide were so keen to challenge from the 1950s on.

There is no mention of corned beef hash and if you were ever tempted to think that in World War Two people were all in it together a glance at the book will quickly tell you this was not the food people in the East End of London were eating.

I was interested to see what Churchill’s taste in the cheese department was and the answer quite clearly was Gruyere. This passage from the Londonist underlines the point.

The corpulent PM would regularly round off dinner with a cheese platter. And there was one London fromagarie he regarded above all others: “A gentleman only buys his cheese at Paxton & Whitfield,” said Churchill once. Fortunately for the gentlemen (and women) of today’s London, Paxton & Whitfield is still in business. So when you go in, what should you order — a ballsy cheddar? A patriotic Red Leicester? Apparently not. Although you might think the flavour was a tad on the neutral side for Winston, we have it on good authority that his cheese of choice was a Swiss gruyère.

What of Boris Johnson and cheese? There is no question that he likes it. He wrote in the Daily Telegraph (27^th May 2004) of a tendency to midnight fridge raids for cheese.

More recently he has denounced vegan cheese as not being suitable for cheese lovers- perhaps fair enough but that’s not the same as saying its inedible or horrible-and at the Brexit dinner at 10 Downing St at the end of January canapes included Shropshire blue cheese and cheddar were served.

Perhaps Johnson is a little keener on British cheese than Churchill was but he doesn’t seem perhaps unsurprisingly to have a focus on a specific cheese. Anything will do it seems (provided its not vegan)

Beard Liberation Front

7^th May

Broadcast of 2005 Edgbaston Ashes Test evokes memories of former Beard of the Year, Bill Frindall

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that the Bank Holiday reprise of the 2005 Edgbaston Ashes Test between England and Australia(BBC Test Match Special, BBC Sport, Sky Cricket) has evoked memories of the late Bill Frindall who was the Test Match Special scorer for the match.

Frindall, who sadly died in 2009, was nicknamed ‘Bearders’ by the late Brian Johnston because of his iconic beard. He was a former Beard of the Year, the top honour given for the positive impact a beard wearer can make in public life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Frindall

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, I have fond memories of Bill Frindall’s broadcasting for TMS and his beard and it is poignant to hear him again in the commentary box in 2005

Your obituary of Bill Frindall (2 February) rather skates around the issue of his beard. Frindall won several awards from the Beard Liberation Front, and as its organiser, I received calls from him on a number of occasions to thank the BLF and its supporters for their appreciation.

Of course, the awards are largely, if not entirely, lighthearted, but not everyone in public life who receives the accolade takes them in such good heart as Frindall did.

Keith Flett Guardian 12^th February 2009

Beard Liberation Front

9^th May

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

2020 Beard, Shorts & Sandals Season officially opens on 11^th May with special rules

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that the 2020 Beard, Shorts and Sandals Season will open on Monday 11^th May

The campaigners say that the start has been delayed until a slight easing of lockdown restrictions takes place on Monday which will allow people to responsibly flaunt their new lockdown beards, shorts and sandals but only if they do so in a socially distanced framework.

The BLF says that it has amended guidelines for the 2020 Season and brought in a new framework to facilitate social distancing.

1] Shorts should ideally be three-quarter length-‘culottes’ for the  2020 season. The length of shorts is particularly important as climate change may mean that unprotected legs get sunburnt.

1a) Shorts of the length worn by Nigel Farage in a video recorded in April are strictly forbidden

2] Footwear should be casual. There is a considerable range of sandal type footwear now available. Some leaves parts of the feet and toes open to public view, while some does not. The BLF is not prescriptive about the matter.

3] Socks should generally not be worn. However if the beard, shorts and sandals are to be displayed in relatively busier urban areas it is likely to be prudent to wear closed rather than open casual footwear and ankle socks, not visible to others may be worn.

4] There is no prescription or definition on what type of beard may be worn, or how this may match with the shorts and sandals. This is left up to the individual.

5] If venturing out in accordance with lockdown rules in force at the time social distance should be kept at all times. On no account should there be any groups of beard, shorts and sandals wearers. Discussion of styles should be confined to social media.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, the Beard, Socks and Sandals season has been a major influence on summer fashions in recent times but just at the moment the key message is: no flaunting outside of the rules laid down above.

The Ambridge Socialist

May Day holiday edition

8th May

5 years since the Ambridge bunting theft. Is Sgt Burns anywhere nearer to finding the culprit

Its 5 years since the great Ambridge bunting theft. The bunting, which belonged to Fallon, Sgt Burns partner, was put up for the Ambridge early May holiday in 2015. The following day it was discovered missing. It has yet to be recovered.

In June 2019 Knacker Burns thought he had found the thief:

PC Burns has found the bunting thief, sort of

Yet more fragments of bunting have been found and PC Knacker Burns has continued his four year long search for the person who originally stole it…The Professor. Knacker Burns has vowed vengeance, but has he got the right man?

The Ambridge Socialist 2nd June 2019

He had not of course, it was just someone winding him up. Another year has passed and Sgt Burns is no nearer a solution

Archers Anarchists Victory in Ambridge quiz 7pm 8^th May

Another Friday quiz from our co-thinkers at Archers Anarchists. Details about how to join the Zoom call are here:

https://www.archersanarchists.com/live-online-quiz-va-day-8-may/

The early May Day holiday. The Observer was equivocal. Mrs Thatcher enjoyed it

There is frequent dispute over the question of public holidays in the UK.

The current structure goes back to the Bank Holidays Act of 1871 which recognised the principle of a very small amount of paid time off for the new industrial workforce, and of course bank employees.

The framework has been tweaked since then to add New Year’s Day and differs in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Another recent addition is the May Day Bank Holiday. It was introduced in 1978 by the Callaghan Labour Government. The Tories didn’t much like it then and many still don’t. No complaints this year however as Johnson moved it to mark VE day as Major did in 1995. Why there could not have been an additional holiday to that normal May Day one remains a moot point at best.

The TUC’s view remains that Britain has the fewest public holidays in Europe- but by no means the highest workplace productivity- so a few more holidays in the interests of work-life balance would be a good idea whatever they are called.

Indeed Labour proposed four more bank holidays at the 2019 General Election.

May Day has been a traditional day of celebration, both of spring and of Labour and it is marked in one or other and sometimes both contexts around the world.

The introduction of the official holiday in 1978 did not come without some issues.

Firstly a labour movement tradition- one I still try to hold to personally- has been not to work on May Day, even if this meant taking unofficial strike action.

The traditional London May Day March is still held on the day itself, and prior to 1978 strike action in some years was quite widespread.

So the appearance of the official holiday can be seen as a way of trying to stop such- to those in authority- unfortunate occurrences.

At the same time the complaint of many in the labour movement was that the bank holiday was only on May Day itself if it coincided with a Monday. Otherwise it was on the next available Monday

It is interesting to look back on views of that May Day in the 1970s- when incidentally a BBC report complained that too many shops and public venues were shut to make it enjoyable. This was a feature of all British public holidays until very recently.

We can do this via a House of Lords debate on the holiday that took place on May 9th 1978.

The debate was led off by Viscount Davidson who asked the question whether the Government thought having a May Day bank holiday was ‘wise’ and whether they planned to continue with it.

The Tory Peer claimed that the idea of having a public holiday on May Day was a matter of ‘political ideology’.

Lord Wallace for Labour pointed out that the Christian church had for centuries celebrated May 1st as the day of St Joseph the Worker so the decision to have a UK public holiday was clearly a ‘very respectable’ one.

He went on to point out that the only bad thing about the 1978 May Day holiday had been that it rained but even the then Lib-Lab Pact could not control the elements. In response Lord Alport demanded that if the Government planned to persist with a May Day holiday they must act to ensure that the weather was better.

One might have thought the Thatcher Government from 1979 would have abolished the May Day holiday. Checking the Thatcher Archive however one finds that on Monday May 4th 1981 Mrs T enjoyed lunch with Denis, Mark and Carol, happy as others to have a day off.

In 2017 however an Observer columnist argued that we don’t need Bank Holidays perhaps vaguely recalling the paper’s nineteenth century roots in Manchester liberalism:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/30/bank-holidays-misery-no-more-seasides-nausea-family-eva-wiseman?CMP=share_btn_tw

However Ms Wiseman will no doubt be content that the early May Day Bank Holiday has been moved to mark VE Day instead and there really should be nobody much on beaches except seagulls.

Francis Wheen provided an entertaining and well informed defence of the holiday here (scroll down)

https://kmflett.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/the-observer-hates-it-a-brief-history-of-the-may-day-bank-holiday/