Kmflett's Blog

The Ambridge Socialist

7^th June

News of the class struggle in Borsetshire

DJ Susan Carter raves on

It may be lockdown Ambridge now but this week has seen a surprising turn of events with Susan Carter making her debut on Radio Borsetshire. She made what was apparently thought to be an embarrassing faux pas in mentioning what gets Neil Carter ‘in the mood’ (for sleep given his age we suspect).

Despite the obvious thought that there would be no listeners to Susan’s burblings the BBC have reported a positive reaction. Expect her to feature as a presenter on Times Radio before long.

The Shape of the Table

Emma has acquired a new and it would seem ornate coffee table for the not the mobile home. It is meant to be the centre piece of attention but so far has simply been the subject of collisions with Ed.

Sheep Shearing

Not quite Springwatch but also this week Jazzer has beaten Ed in a sheep shearing contest. Its not clear if the sheep got a vote but its good to have confirmation that they still exist as we heard little or nothing about lambing this year.

Face Masks in Ambridge

Its not clear if there are enough people in Ambridge to warrant the wearing of face masks but on this week’s Dum-Tee-Dum podcast Tracy Horrobin (Susie Riddell) opined that hers would consist of a drawing of a cigarette protruding from lippy coated lips. The Ambridge Socialist is in the market for Joe Grundy face masks.

In Other News

The Telegraph reports that Lord Blunkett thinks if the Archers monologues continue it wont make it to the 70^th anniversary. We suspect he’d be happy if the monologues were delivered by Tony Blair who has a 5^th home in the environs of Ambridge

‘That dude is boring’. The Financial Times (6^th June) on David Archer

Beard Liberation Front

7^th June

Media Release

Contact  Keith Flett 07803 167266

Campaigners pay tribute to former Beard of the Year Tom Jones on 80^th Birthday

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has paid tribute to Sir Tom Jones on his 80^th birthday.

Sir Tom was joint winner of the Beard of the Year Award in 2008 with then Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams.

While he rose to prominence in the 1960s as a clean shaven singer in recent decades he has sported a gravitas adding beard.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, we are pleased to recall Sir Tom’s Beard of the Year triumph on his 80^th birthday. As a mark of respect he will feature on the Beard of Summer 2020 shortlist later in June.

Metro 29^th December  2008

Tom Jones has been crowned winner in the annual Beard of the Year award. The Welsh singer shares the title with the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, while Prince Williams was runner-up.

The Beard Liberation Front, an informal network of beard wearers, has recognised Britain’s best beards for the past 14 years. The award aims to highlight those who have given beards a positive image in the public eye during the year. Led Zeppelin vocalist Robert Plant won the Award in 2007 and cricketer Monty Panesar in 2006 Keith Flett, of the Beard Liberation Front, said: “The votes were too close to call and so they have shared the title. “A concern this year was beardism, irrational prejudice against the hirsute, and while Tom Jones sex symbol status overrode this, it was certainly a factor for other winners.” The award also gave Bruce Forsyth a special commendation for his trademark moustache on Strictly Come Dancing.

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2008/12/29/tom-jones-is-beard-of-the-year-269994/?ito=cbshare

Beard Liberation Front

6th June

Campaigners offer Jacob Rees Mogg advice on how to safely grow a beard

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has offered advice to Leader of the Commons Jacob Rees Mogg on how to safely grow a beard.

The advice comes after Rees Mogg told The Times Diary that ‘I have never been brave enough to grow a beard’.

He did however agree that he has an excellent role model,his great-great grandfather the Rev Henry Stiles Savory

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, beards add gravitas and that surely can never be a bad thing in a politician

Six Steps to safely growing a beard

1 Do not shave and recycle all shaving equipment immediately

2  Allow facial hair to develop over a 7-10 day period

3 Wash the facial hair at least twice every day and purge any split ends

4 An organic beard grows naturally so do not trim at this stage

5 After 10 days judicious and occasional trimming may be employed. There is a fine balance between a beard that is stylish and one that is genuinely organic

6 Under trimming is better than over trimming. Over trimming may lead to having needlessly to repeat steps 1-5

The Times 6th June 2020

Jacob Rees-Mogg fears that he is turning into the Yeti of the Chew Valley while the barbers are closed. He has some way to go to match the magnificent pilosity of his great-great-grandfather, the Rev Henry Stiles Savory. Keith Flett of the Beard Liberation Front calls on the Mogg to adopt the wild undergrowth of his forebear. “The mark of gravitas in the 19th century was a full beard,” Flett says. The leader of the Commons does not bristle at the suggestion. “I have never been brave enough to grow a beard, but if I were to my ancestor’s style is clearly the one to go for,” the Mogg tells me, adding that one of his literary heroes is Edward Lear’s old man with a beard, whose whiskers housed “two owls and a hen, four larks and a wren”. Imagine getting a facemask over that.

On Friday Matt Hancock advised people to avoid gatherings of more than six people. He had in mind Black Lives Matters demonstrations in solidarity with George Floyd.

I’m not sure Hancock has ever been a demonstration in his life but the authorities have preferred and at times legally required demonstrations to be very small in size dating back to the time when the public protest became part of a democratic culture- arguably the late eighteenth century.

No doubt there will be exceptions but I’d expect protests to be socially distanced and with mask wearing and mostly assembled not using public transport.

I wont be participating though, and not because I have any aversion to protests. I am after all 63 and being in any kind of mass gathering at the moment is just not prudent.

Of course there are many other ways of protest, what Charles Tilly referred to as the Repertoire of Contention.

All will be familiar with the Thursday clap for carers. Despite attempts from on high to stop it, it still went on in my street this week and I joined in. It is a collective act of solidarity albeit a small one. Likewise Ive also taken the knee for George Floyd(even though I have bad knees- see my age above).

Lots of local protests look set to take place this weekend, more accessible to some than centralised one, but of course not so newsworthy.

In the age of Zoom (etc)and social media mass protest can also to an extent be virtual. Stand Up to Racism are holding another internet event at 7pm on Sunday. See @AntiRacismDay for details.

Of course virtual protest is not the same as a physical one but for those who cant or dont want to at the moment venture on to one its still a good collective experience.

In short what Hancock should have said is not ‘dont protest’ but ‘protest safely’. But what can you expect from a Minister for whom the very idea of protest is not a good thought..

Geoffrey Boycott given out by Test Match Special

The BBC have confirmed reports that Geoffrey Boycott will no longer be a regular feature of the BBC’s Test Match Special, although he may make occasional appearances. At the same Isa Guha will host the new BBC TV Test highlights programmes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/52944158

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/jun/04/geoffrey-boycotts-time-on-bbc-test-match-special-looks-to-be-at-an-end

A twitter exchange between Boycott and TMS underlined that the reason for his absence in 2020 is, sensibly, related to the current epidemic, but that he may still make virtual appearances. Getting him on Zoom may be a challenge though..

Even so it feels right, perhaps particularly now. Cricket is no longer about England’s imperial preference and if cricket is to have an audience in future it wont be one that is fascinated by uncovered pitches and rhubarb as much as this may amuse people of a certain age (like me).

A knighthood was long delayed due to a disputed conviction in a French Court, which whatever the truth behind it, looks very unpleasant even now. But there are much more recent transgressions.

In 2017 Geoffrey Boycott unreservedly apologised for remarks that he made at an event related to the day-night Test at Edgbaston that some would certainly have seen as racist.

Boycott was quoted to the effect that he didn’t see anything wrong with the remark at the time, meant, he said, as a joke. However the Times reported that his apology comes after talks with his lawyers and the BBC. The BBC stated that he would stay with Test Match Special for that series

I suspected at the time that Geoffrey was nearing his last innings as a commentator. We all say unfortunate things of one kind or another from time to time. The problem is Boycott doesn’t seem to understand why it is a problem and that means he is always likely to do it again.

His background around rebel tours to apartheid South Africa is well known as is his recovery from cancer, suggesting a strength of character one would suspect from his steadfast batting.

He knows a lot about a cricket, although there are other views, but the world is moving on. Test Match Special has a range of younger commentators and analysts, female and male now.

The BBC’s cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew deserves full credit for bringing what we might call late period Geoffrey Boycott to the airwaves in ways that informed and entertained but  in future we will need to check his Telegraph column for his thoughts.

In some ways (but not others, see above) I personally regret that but taking a broader view one can see why it was going to happen even without COVID-19

Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Howling Hops experimental DDH single hop pale series

In other times I would no doubt have been drinking glasses of the new Howling Hops, single hops DDH pale triumvirate at the Cock Tavern in Hackney.

As it is I tried them in can, locked down in central Cardiff with my partner Megan and Holly the cat (Holly isn’t bothered about beer but likes drinking bowl aged rain water).

You can read the details of the three beers here:

https://www.howlinghops.co.uk/2020/05/27/friends-romans-countrymen/

In summary Howling Hops have taken three experimental hops from Yakima Chief Hops, HBC 522, HBC 586 and HBC 692, brewed three as near identical as possible DDH pales at 5.5% and used each one to show case one of the new hops.

As the founder of the Campaign for Real Murk I can report that each did well on the murk front. However I think my favourite (& possibly Megan’s too) was Romans. Friends had to my taste quite a strong soft fruit flavour- perhaps melon. Romans was more piney while Countrymen was an enjoyable soft citrus.

You’ll take it that I simply enjoy drinking beer so my descriptions are not that technical. I’ll leave that to experts. If on the other hand you want an explanation of how Marxist dialectics work I can explain that in detail..

These are not ordinary times and for many very tough times so HH deserve credit for pushing on with innovation and innovative ideas just now.

The experiment would have been worthy of notice in ordinary times but much more so now.

The beer is still available via the HH website (link above)

The First England Test Match of Summer 2020. A world we have temporarily lost

The below dates from May 21, 2013. Today, Friday 5^th June I would have been at the 2^nd day of the First Test between England and the West Indies at the Oval with my partner Megan.

I got tickets on-line in February and based on the Oval’s plans have let them carry over to a 2021 Test.

The England v West Indies Tests are set to proceed, behind closed doors, but physical attendance is something we have temporarily lost.

The weather, having been warm last week, has of course dropped down, presumably anticipating the start of the Test season. It would have been chilly sitting at the Oval today, but that’s all part of the cricket experience

On attending cricket matches

I have been attending cricket matches for a very long time.

I recall going to see Kent v South Africa at Canterbury in 1965 [aged 8] with my father which was a bit odd since he was a Scottish Communist and these were apartheid South Africans. There may have been a bigger plan at work- to keep the young Flett quiet for a bit. I was also at the Oval in August 1968 when spectators mopped up the pitch and Derek Underwood spun England to victory.

I’ve been a regular spectator at London Test matches ever since and, time permitting, other games at Lords and the Oval.

It is hardly news to note that watching international cricket matches has changed quite a bit.

I was at Lords on Thursday and Friday for the First Test against New Zealand.

I got my tickets on-line and the seats are a [little] bit more comfortable than they used to be in my day…

Until the arrival in particular of the widespread use of credit cards and the interweb, getting tickets in advance for International cricket matches was unusual. Agreed Ashes series sometimes sold out. But for the Saturday of a New Zealand Test you could turn up at lunchtime [checking the weather first] pay on the gate and find a seat without a problem.

Buying tickets in advance [often a long time in advance] has changed the nature of the audience at cricket grounds, as has the price of tickets.

The price of tickets- I paid around £70 at Lords- is hardly out of line with other sporting or musical events but that won’t help you if you’re on jobseekers allowance.

Still the issue of paying for a ticket, seeing little cricket and getting no refund has now been [mostly]sorted. Floodlights allow play when it was not previously possible and if it rains you get money back.

However not everyone plans their lives six months in advance [obviously as a socialist I believe in planning]and the fact that you can’t very often just turn up and get in on the gate at a Test match means that casual spectators, those who find they have some time free on the day etc can’t get in.

Instead we have seen the rise of the corporate spectator and not just in the sponsored boxes.

Sitting in the crowd at Lords, it’s clear that many have come to watch the cricket and know about it. But many more have very long lunches, drink lots of alcohol and are generally not that interested. For them a day at the Test is a spectacle, a cultural event as much as a cricket match.

Fair enough it might be said. They have paid their money and how they enjoy their day is up to them.

Cricket has always been associated with gambling and drinking so one can hardly be censorious but there is just a sense that the great showcase of cricket that is a tightly fought Test match is not now seen live by those who, like myself in the 1960s, are young and, bitten by the unique atmosphere of a day’s Test cricket keep turning up for life.

Indeed while attendances at international matches across the world are not uniformly down, the numbers of games played does seem to be causing a decline. In England that is not yet the case and that is a good thing. But it is a trend we need to be wary of.

Why can’t tickets for Tests be sold in the way some restaurants book their tables. A certain number can be reserved in advance and the rest are for walk-ups? That way Corporates can book their diaries and the young cricket fan who finds themselves free on the day would stand a chance of getting in as well.

Beard Liberation Front

Press Release

5^th June

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Beard Liberation Front backs cloth face masks for safety

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has urged its supporters to follow new Government requirements to wear cloth face masks on public transport and in other confined spaces where social distance cannot be kept when outside.

The campaigners have previously agreed that, aside from religious and cultural reasons, medical face masks worn in care and hospital settings may require the temporary shaving of the beard.

However the BLF says that the cloth face mask does not serve the same purpose. Rather it is designed to capture any coughs or sneezes, perhaps particularly significant as the hay-fever season is underway.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, I wear a cloth mask myself in appropriate settings. Whether to cover the whole beard depends on personal preference and indeed beard length, but clearly the mouth and nose should be covered. It is a sensible and safe thing to do and as much as anything a matter of social solidarity.

Guidelines for non-medical mask wearing with a beard

Make sure the mask is large enough to cover comfortably facial hair that you have immediately above and below the mouth.

There is no need for the mask to cover the entire beard

The purpose of the mask is to prevent emissions from the nose and mouth NOT to protect the beard

If beard protection is also required a separate Snood should be worn

Make sure that both the mask and the beard are washed regularly

Beard Liberation Front

4^th June

Media Release: contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Call for Jacob Rees-Mogg to forget haircut & emulate the beard of his great-great grandfather

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has called on Leader of the Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg to emulate the magnificent ZZ Top style of his great-great grandfather William Wooldridge Rees-Mogg (1848-1913).

Speaking in the Commons on 4^th June Rees-Mogg addressed the question of the continued closure of hairdressers and barbers and noted that his hair was now at shoulder length. He claimed he had thought of asking his live-in nanny to give him a basic pudding basin hair-cut.

The campaigners say that Mr Rees-Mogg should face the realities of the new normal, leave his hair uncut and grow a full beard.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, Mr Rees-Mogg is often thought to live in the Victorian era and indeed published a brief history book on the subject. He will know then that a mark of the gravitas of a public figure in the nineteenth century was the growth of a full beard. His great-great grandfather should be his role model.